I’ve been wanting to blog for a while now, but Gadda is the reason the ball is rolling. He said something a little while back about wanting to publish a blog post for every week of the year, and that really lit a fire in me. “52 posts? I could do that, probably,”
I struggle to stay consistent with things in the best of situations. Executive dysfunction has and will always be my greatest nemesis. It is 1:35 AM on January 2nd 2025. I’ve been unemployed for almost two years. Emotionally, I’ve gone through a long period of despair leading into total resignation and stagnation. I’d given up on life and the idea that I could fight against my circumstances. I fell into a pattern of going through the motions.
Somehow, life keeps going. I am incredibly lucky to have a support network that keeps my life going.
And, there’s a voice in my head that tells me I have to make what I’m going through worth it. The soul of spite is one side of my coin, keeping me moving, keeping me dreaming. I have to turn suffering into a cost, something I’m choosing to spend to get something in return. I have to make something.
The other side of the coin is hope.
| look at the sky | put life in perspective. touch grass. |
| i’m still here | i managed to survive everything so far. |
| i’ll be alive next year | believe that there will be a future |
| i can make something good | i can leave an impact of worth |
I have tabletop roleplaying in my bones.
When I was a kid, I played pretend — calvinball style. When I was in highschool, I did forum play-by-post RPGs and wished they had more rules. When I finally made it to college, the first thing I did was bike through the rain to the local game store and sign up for their Wednesday night Dungeons & Dragons game. 5E had just come out and the DM was running Hoard of the Dragon Queen. It changed my life.
This is mostly a blog about that. I want to have a place to write my own thoughts in the ttrpg sphere, between game introspection and the latest (or oldest) discourse.
“What’s up with the website?”
If you’re reading this in early 2025, the parent website for this blog is mostly empty. I’m still working on stuff. I believe the internet was better in ye olden times and I’m doing my part to bring that back.